Haiku - August 29th - 10.20pm

Too early to start, tired.
Late finish, too late. Why does he
Fight? Struggle? Have difficulty relaxing?

Following instinct. Nurturing more than
Most. Breastfeeding. Responding to cues and love.
Always love. Cuddles, kisses. Fails.

Haiku - August 28th - 1.50pm

Frustration, anger, snapping, emotional wreck.
Knowing I'm loved and lucky, should be
Grateful, joyful. I hate depression.

Reminders on my bathroom mirror:
Pray, breathe, sing praise and choose joy.
Switch it not you off.

Looking to the future

I want a clean home so...I have to clean.
I want an organised home so...I need to organise.
I want an uncluttered home so...I need to declutter.
I enjoy crafts and want to improve and practise crafting so...I need to carve out the time for and make the effort to craft.
I want Bundle to sign more so...I need to sign more.
I want Bundle to be calmer so...I need to be calmer.
I want to make gifts for Christmas so...I need to organise my time so they'll be made in time.
I want to get better at piano so . . . I need to practice.
I want to lose weight so . . . I need to eat better and less.
I want to bake more so . . . I need to plan out ingredients and carve out time for baking.

Top Ten - August 26th

1. Whites laundry. Put away dry laundry. Allow Bundle to "help" me.
2. Tutoring and clear table afterward.
3. Enjoy a walk to Stonegate and back (wear trainers) after naptime.
4. Drop off a little starting nursery gift for my niece.
5. Baked potatoes, beans, bacon and cheese for dinner.
6. Write up my parents' holiday dates on the calendar. Practise the piano.
7. Practise covering up one of Bundle's eyes in a peek-a-boo game as preparation for his eye appointment.
8. Put away excess baby bag things, bag and pile of novels that Mum borrowed, box of crafting cardboard.
9. Sew another item from the mending basket.
10. Ring regarding a follow-up podiatric appointment.

Quiet Ambition

My quiet ambition is to organise others, to be allowed into their sanctuaries, physical and mental and to clear out the debris, sweep away the cobwebs (figuratively) and create and space-save, put like with like and beautify.

I want to help others make the most of their homes and their time. I want to help them make better use of their finances, help them budget, help them develop and grow in their interests, hobbies, lives (parenting, marriages etc.). I want to help them lose weight and improve their fitness by helping them find the time to do so.

I want to help others in the ways I cannot help myself.

I am the epitome of those who can, do; those who can't teach.

My house sits as a house, not always a home.

It is unloved in its messiness, disorganisation, chaos, clutter, dirt and dust.

Eugh, the kitchen floor alone.

I have made strides in the right direction.

A step forward of a beauty-enhancing craft.

A step back of an unbrushed floor.

Forward, a scrubbed and shining sink.

Back, the knowledge that the scrubbing removed two-year-old paint drips and that the same paint job needs redone.

Forward, a cleaned up, decorative find from the outhouses to add to our homeliness.

Back, an unmade bed, sat all day and the next.

I make efforts and once routines to include this good thing or that are firmly established then I have a proud moment but it does not last as I look at all that needs done. All the other things that need to become routine and I just don't feel like I improve though I know I do.

I want to help establish routines and beautify.

I want to help my father declutter and organise and label in the many outhouses and garage/workshop spaces on the farm. I want to help calm his work spaces to help his slowly unravelling mind; to help calm the interior through a calm exterior.

I want to help my friend plan her wedding, I want to be a reliable friend to her and the rest.

Mostly I want and NEED to improve how I suggest and prod and help others improve; remove any condescension from my tone, any patronising elements to my speech. I want (with Divine assistance, which I REALLY NEED) to be as respectful of others as they are of me; to respect the strides they make, as my husband acknowledges my (albeit minor) revisions and improvements. So often when I speak I just wish I hadn't.

So this is my quiet ambition to improve and in so doing help others to do likewise. Iron sharpens iron.

Haiku - August 26th - 2pm

Family life, building our routines,
Book, milkies, toilet, prayer, bed and songs.
Signs and attempted words echo.

After nights of crying hard,
Sore, hearts broken and comfort sought; touch,
Contact for reassurance of love.

Haiku - August 21st - 11.10pm

Lay in this morning, bliss
Turned over thinking I won't get back
Over. Awoke three hours later.

Lay down the law tonight.
Stuck to my guns, no messing about.
Baby asleep, Mama less stressed.

Loud cough, loud sneeze, loud
Nose-blower, why? Not helpful as a parent,
Keep waking the baby up.

Top Ten - August 21st

1. Whites laundry including bedding and t-shirt in soak. Clean laundry area and sink. Fold and put away dry laundry.
2. Eyebrows. Shower and shave legs.
3. Sew Bundle's nappy and Hubby's anniversary t-shirt.
4. Brush out en-suite.
5. Quiet time, scripture memory, prayer, grace, bedtime prayer, Lord's prayer, catechism time and worship CDs.
6. Walk to the far end of the road and back (1 1/2 miles) after naptime.
7. Eat a small breakfast, sensible lunch and prepare ahead a healthy snack (carrot sticks).
8. Clean en-suite sink and bleach loos.
9. Clean pigeon-hole shelving unit, decide on future paint colour if any. If necessary paint with methylated spirits.
10. Tutoring prep (see yesterday).

Additional rules:
No TV, except during dinner and times when Bundle is asleep.
Swagbucks, Moodscope, apps, email and Kindle only available while Bundle is asleep.
Podcasts allowed only while I am eating breakfast and during milkies.

Honey-do List
Get up with Bundle to allow Mama a lie-in.

Haiku - August 20th - 10.10pm

Time, where goest thou? Sleep,
Why do you hide when most tired,
Am I? Can't sleep. Tired.

Why does insomnia persist when,
Activity increased, both mental and physical. Pursuits,
Which should tire, but reinvigorate.

To bed and no mistake.
To bed and no arguments from me.
Then why am I up?

Who needs enemies when you,
Have yourself? To blame, to cause such,
Pain, negativity, distress, stress, frustration.

Rain bouncing off roof and,
Ground. Battering the senses and causing shivers,
Despite heat, humidity. Weather memories.

Breathe, just breathe, pray and,
Breathe, just breathe and write that list.
Tomorrow another day, another chance.

Top Ten - August 20th

1. Dark laundry including sheets and pillowcases.
2. Set timer for three minutes and shape eyebrows. Shave my legs after Bundle is settled in bed.
3. Watch educational reform video with Hubby and use it to draw a spider diagram of my takeaway from the speaker's educational philosophy
4. Sew another item from the mending basket.
5. Tutoring preparation - print out the next couple of weeks of the Armour of God copywork. Print out another phonics workbook. Write out all forty-four phonemes on flashcards.
6. Walk toward the other end of the road and back (1 1/4 miles) after naptime.
*Update - walked around and around MrsThing's house instead, as I had SportySis for company and it looked like rain.*
7. Reduce the amount I eat at breakfast. Eat sensibly at lunchtime.
8. Quiet time, scripture memory, prayer jar, grace, bedtime prayer, Lord's prayer, catechism time and worship CDs.
9. Brush out en-suite, WC, kitchen and hallway.
10. Arrange new podiatric appointment. Email Amazima. Research Google's 20% employee time.

Additional rules:
No TV, except during dinner and when Bundle is asleep.
Swagbucks, Moodscope, apps, email and Kindle only available while Bundle is asleep.
Podcasts allowed only while I am eating breakfast and during milkies.

Honey-do List
1. Bath Bundle after dinner.
2. Replace bed sheets.
3. Hang artworks. Cousin's watercolour (lounge). Yesterday's monogram artwork (kitchen) - mask also.
4. Charity shop donations drop-off and purchase of colour ink for the printer.
5. Empty bin in the barn and scrub clean (inside and out). Also scrub clean the potty chair from my sister.

Haiku - August 19th - 10.30pm

Quiet house, supper digesting, peace.
Sneeze erupts from sleeping babe, sleeps on.
To-do list for tomorrow brewing.

Catching up on reading blogs.
Enjoying educational discussions, thinking to the future.
Homeschooling - eclectic, God-centred, delight directed.

Philosophies of education aside; focus,
Homemaking must be mastered first before more,
Added to the brimming plate.

Little Susie Homemaker, fifties style,
Dreams of gleaming surfaces, smiling, order,
Instead chaos, clutter, must clean.

And now, I must sleep,
Last night, up gone three, mind whirling,
Hundred mph, lists help soothe.

Today, list followed, much acheived,
Still more undone, but paint finally removed,
From kitchen sink, two years.

Tomorrow, busy day to come,
Work and visitors all combined and double-booked.
Successful day if nerves intact.

Success only possible through Him.
Stretched tight, nerves frazzled, leaning on Him.
The everlasting arms bring peace.

Pray, breathe, pray, breathe, confess.
Grace offered anew, refreshed I breathe again.
Thankful heart praises, prays, breathes.

Haiku - August 19th - 7.40pm

Dinner cleared, house to tidy.
Hyper baby needs calmed. Husband home, fed,
Away again, external duties call.

Catechism songs play, baby plays,
Mummy plays at poetry and Daddy works.
Bedtime calls, we tiredly answer.

Time to get changed, pyjamas,
Stories to be chosen, read, milkies drunk,
Potty time, then lullaby, sleep.

Haiku - August 19th - 4.30pm

Post walk, laundry, activity, glow.
Moment of rest, relaxation, reset - milky time.
Upturned face, giggles, dribbles, joy.

Haiku - August 19th - 3.10pm

Chose not to sleep - why?
For disturbed sleep tires more than none.
Baby slept soundly. I rested.

Six words - August

Going fast, I'm crazy, hormonal, help.

Haiku - August 19th - 2.30am

Sleep eludes me, or I
Being without foresight avoid it, baby sleeps
Soundly, unusually long, breathing heavily.

Top Ten - August 19th

1. White wash including baby blankets, duvet cover and pillowcases. Replace duvet cover and pillowcases.
2. Brush out en-suite, nursery and bedroom.
3. Clean en-suite, including bath and shower screen, using vinegar spray and bleach loos.
4. Calculate and set aside tithe. Set aside change from purse and tally it along with moneyboxes. Calculate child sponsorship and set aside for it. Empty Bundle's moneyboxes into his bank account.
5. Set timer for three minutes and shape eyebrows.
6. Cleanse, tone and moisturise before bed (after Bundle is settled for the night).
7. Shine kitchen sink and scrub basin inside and out.
8. Quiet time for me. Scripture memorisation during breakfast, prayer time with Bundle during snack, grace before dinner and Lord's prayer/bedtime prayer before bed. Play worship CDs during day. Catechism time with Bundle in the afternoon.
9. Walk to the end of the road and back (1 mile) directly after naptime. Weigh-in and record on app.
10. Make a family monogram on scrapbook paper, framed for the hallway.

Additional rules:
No TV except during dinner and after Bundle is asleep.
Swagbucks, Moodscope, apps, internet, email and Kindle only available while Bundle is asleep.
Podcasts allowed only while I am eating breakfast and during milkies.

*I also repaired three jar decorations that had become unstuck and printed out some copywork for tutoring.*

Gentle Strength

The curling fingers wrapped around my finger. 

The sweetness of a hot, sweaty head with slick curls on damp forehead all smooshed up against me, seeking human warmth, not heat.

The hand that reaches out in reassurance that we are present.

The little head, sprung up as out of sleep he falls and into life and energy and the big grin and good morning "Hiya," proudly speaking his intent to start the day. 

The energy, oh the energy, the sleepy, drooping head, so relaxed and nodding, nodding until a dog barks and the spring is sprung as the sleepiness dissipates and the hand flies to his ear aside his cocked head with a "huh" and a questioning look as he seeks to know what is happening abroad and the settling begins again in earnest after the question is answered. 

The gentleness of the touch and the strength of the touch.

The gentle play of fingers lifting small bites from the table, of collecting up tiny toys or stroking your face.

The rough and tough and soreness of rebellion, fighting unassailable truths that sleep must be gotten and nappies must be changed in order for health to be held. The strength of will, the power of little arms stretched out in protest and squeals that pierce armour of the toughest form that squawk "no" to whatever the parent wishes: shoes on, feeding time, bed time, "you can't play with that," it's dangerous or fragile or not ours, you can't, shouldn't, won't and the resounding "no" and "never" and "I shall not be moved," responses.

You set the limits and choose the battles, repetitions worth repeating in order to move along and grow and learn and we all grow and learn.

There are distractions and deflections and things put out of reach and places and times avoided and naps are sought at appropriate intervals and we all work for a common cause - peace though not often quiet.

Of course tempers fray and sanctuary is sought away from squeals and Daddy is called into play, "tag you're it" and sometimes "baby jails" can save your sanity but always resolve, resolution, the coming together again of mother and child in dramatic reunion, big hugs and sobs and "sorrys," "I love yous" and love always love always love. 

14-08-13

Bundle Tales #3

Putting his doll (Jimmy) to bed and getting him up after naps/sleep. Giving him hugs and kisses.

Requesting milkies with repeated signing.

A precious moment of interrupting his play at LLL to come and sign for the toilet and then go and just melt his Mummy's heart.

Climbing out of the buggy and pitter-patting his way to find us, often going straight back to sleep. Proof positive that he just wants company.

Sharing his toys nicely with others.

Keeping his nappy dry for long stretches (most of the night).

Putting up his hands to protect his face from licks from the big dog.

Terrifying the little dog, not through any negative actions but simply because he is unpredictable and interested in her.

Pouring the (fortunately only number ones) comtents of his potty over his naked self in a temper, earning himself a cold shower (didn't have any hot water) and thus prompting angelic behaviour the rest of the morning.

Leaning to the side to surprise his Daddy from his hiding place on top of his Daddy's shoulders when Daddy claims to have lost him.

Continuing to charm the pants of all and sundry.

Trying to speak so much - recognisably (to us anyway) saying tractor, quack quack, moo.

Loving the cows and heading to the nearest window, gate etc. at the mere mention of them.

Giggling in anticipation of his milkies.

Giving the best most snuggly hugs in the world.

Open-mouthed, slobbery, drool-y kisses.

Sleep acrobatics landing him in all sorts of uncomfortable positions, for both him and us.

Bundle Tales #2

Dancing with lightning feet to Galway Girl.

Requesting Galway Girl by heading straight for the stereo in Nanny & Granda's.

Playing the bodrhán (both child-sized and Granda-sized and goat-skin stinky) with great gusto.

Greeting us with an enthusiastic "Hiya!" in the morning and pretty much any time we return from an absence.

Putting his legs over his Daddy's neck and also finding it more comfortable to sleep with his head hanging backwards or on top of his Mummy's legs.

Initiating "cheers" with his cup or rice cracker. (20months)

"Parking" his truck in its spot in the barn. (20months)

Carrying the nappy bucket to its home in the bathroom and putting the laundry into it. (20months)

Being so careful of kerbs and door ridges, going so far as to crawl or climb over millimetre rises. (18-20months)

Signing milkies when asked "what are we going to do now?" (20months)

Asking for a book with "beu beu" and his attempt at a book sign. (20months)

Waking to go to the toilet.

Enjoying the kookaburra hand-puppet, uncontrollable giggles when the kookaburra tries to eat him/kiss his neck, face, tummy. Including falling over from giggling so Mummy only plays at this when he's lying down. (19/20months)

His wonderful kisses where he leans in or when he lifts his chin and pouts. (18-20months)

His all-encompassing hugs, so wonderful and usually before nap or bedtime. (20months)

Playing the kissing game - everybody kiss Daddy, everybody kiss Mummy, and......everybody kiss James - cue the big giggles. (12months+)

Just adoring his books - requesting stories all day long and poring over them for up to an hour (once or twice) just staring, absorbing and flipping those pages.

Carrying sticks around at all times and following Mummy and Daddy's directions to drop them at the door (to our house or Nanny and Granda's) sometimes with squeals afterwards when the realisation hits that he no longer is holding them but increasingly with no adverse reaction. (18-20months)

Playing his xylophone, shaking his jingle bells and tambourines, drumming all available surfaces and tipping out the box of musical instruments every morning - thankfully also tidying them back into the box with direction and maybe a little squealing.

Enjoying many varied music styles and Mummy singing him nursery songs and folk songs from around the world.

Loving you to read the wall pictures/photos/art to him; there's a little girl driving a car and her dog "woof woof" is watching her; telling him the gumnut story; reading him his alphabet, a is for armadillo; there's a picture of Daddy and Bundle. (20months)

Cuddles and kisses to say sorry. (20months)